In my first blog I explained connection . Now it is time to explore the disconnect, because a disconnect may result in loss of relationships, both business and personal. Understanding the disconnect is vital before attempting to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Yes, vital, but not simple by any means. There are four concepts I feel come into play when disconnection occurs.

First, the difficulty in repairing connection is directly proportional to the amount of time that has passed since the disconnect. The longer you have been lost, the harder it is to find your way back.

Second, the desire to reconnect is inversely proportional to the amount of time that has passed since the disconnect. If you have been disconnected too long, the desire to reconnect fades.

Third, and maybe most important, is the amount of effort required to reconnect is greater than the amount of gain received from the reconnection. It just doesn’t seem worth the effort. I have observed many marriages over the years where it is so obvious when they have reached the final realization, “It’s just not worth fixing.” The same is true in business.

Fourth, the amount of time that elapses before you react and attempt a reconnect is a direct indicator to the other person about how much you value the relationship.  

Let me give you an example:

You and the customer have had a great relationship in the past and he always seems glad to see you during your regular calls at his location. This time his assistant says he is really busy and can’t see you. Next month you become really busy yourself and don’t get by his building to update him on the project progress.

The month after, you find yourself sitting in the waiting room while he meets with someone else. After what seems like forever, the assistant sends you in. You sit down and decision maker immediately looks at his watch and says he only has a few minutes. You say you understand and most of what you wanted to say can wait until next month.

Next, when you ask to see the manager, you are greeted by the purchaser who informs you that your contract is not being extended and the remainder of the project is being bid out. When you get back to your car you ask yourself, “How long ago did I first feel the relationship changing? Why didn’t I react?”

The amount of time that was allowed to pass has a direct effect on your desire to reconnect.

A disconnect ignored for too long is a connection forever broken.

Steve Haberly